Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.
Same Sex Marriage Under Attack
As atrocious as all of this is, the headliner is misleading, because only five of the nine have actually proposed to overturn same sex marriage.
During his press conference, Schriver claimed that allowing same-sex couples to marry “undermines the legal and moral foundation” of the United States, and deprives children of a “fundamental right to be born and raised by a mother and father.”
Me: Children have a fundamental right to be raised by two people who care for them and will not abandon them like many mothers and mostly fathers do in heterosexual couples not to mention the divorce rate continues to be high.
“He also claimed, without evidence, that children raised by same-sex couples face more significant developmental delays and challenges with education, employment, and self-sufficiency.”
Me: The keyword here is WITHOUT EVIDENCE! There is NO research to back this up and it is purely poppycock!
“Schriver said that legalizing same-sex marriage “has widened a portal where gays, queers, transsexuals, polygamists, minor attracted persons and other perverts advance attacks on our children.”
Me: LIES!! There is no factual evidence to back this up!
After Schriver exited the room and refused to take questions, State Sen. Jeremy Moss (D-Southfield), the state’s first openly gay state senator, stepped up to the microphone and began attacking Schriver’s resolution as not only a distraction but as “buffoonish,” reported the Michigan Advance.
Me: My first thought was this guy is a buffoon! Sure enough someone else agrees! Of course he didn’t stay after and answer questions because he would’ve stood there saying absolutely nothing and looking like a fool because he can’t answer to anything he said! Either he’s totally inept or somebody wrote his speech for him and he’s just another puppet in the world of politics  working his way to the top .
Once again the heading on the article is very misleading because only 5 of the 9 states; Idaho, Michigan, South Dakota, Montana, North Dakota have proposed changing same-sex marriage laws.
Missouri, Texas, Oklahoma and Tennessee are introducing special privileges for heterosexual couples, but they do not mention anything about removing same-sex marriage.
“One Oklahoma lawmaker, State Sen. David Bullard, has gone so far as to introduce a child tax credit that would only apply to married heterosexual couples with biological children conceived during the marriage.”
Me: I guess adoption and surrogacy will be out. How absurd and awful to penalize those who can’t have children, but want children and not give them a child tax credit if they adopt or choose surrogacy. Better add a clause to include them.
Just ridiculous.
What have we done to this country???
If we want to bring religion into the equation, please pray that we can continue to progress and move forward and cease taking steps going backward.
#bekindalways
Thoughtful Tuesday – “Why?”
Has someone stood you up or not been there for you when you thought they should have been? Maybe not answered a text or an email? You asked yourself “why me”? “”Why haven’t they texted back?” What did I do to deserve this?” “ I must be a horrible person.” “ I must be unworthy.” “I am not lovable.”
We don’t always get the answer to the ‘why’. People do things for many reasons and sometimes they themselves don’t even understand why.
So many reasons people don’t show up that can have absolutely nothing to do with us. They may have their own issues with personal stress, anxiety, fear of your response, low self worth, guilt, depression, shame, and/or perhaps they became ill or maybe they aren’t truly who they say they are if you have never met them or talked to them on the phone. Maybe they don’t know what to say. Healthy communication is difficult without the right tools and knowledge.
We always go straight to the negative in these situations as opposed to just saying ‘it is what it is’. Maybe they are busy? Maybe they didn’t get the text or forgot about it thinking they responded? Perhaps it has nothing to do with me. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s their loss.
I certainly hope this doesn’t happen to anyone but my mother had been seeing someone for a few months and they were both in their 70s. He appeared to have ghosted her, so to speak, if that is such a thing at their age. She became upset because he wasn’t responding to numerous emails or phone calls. A few weeks later I decided to do some searching and I found his obituary. I just had a feeling. She felt really awful and sad that she had thought negatively when he actually had a heart attack and died after coming back from a golf weekend with his son. His family did not think to notify her.
It just goes to show us that we don’t really know what’s going on until we do. It serves no purpose to go straight to the negative, think it has everything to do with us personally and/or paint a picture in our head of something when we truly have no idea what has occurred except the person didn’t show up and/or isn’t responding. Those are the only facts we have.
If our past is a trigger to these feelings, we shouldn’t give the past any more power as it affects our ability to focus on the present and plan for the future.
Chin up, know your worth, forward march and keep working on the goals you have and all that you want to accomplish in the world.
It’s OK to not be OK….we just don’t want to be in that headspace for too long. 💕😊 mh
Monday Motivation
It’s the holiday season which is difficult for many. Divorces and separations are happening, grief from missing loved ones gone too soon and other life challenges are bekoning solace.
People’s lives are being upturned and it’s chaotic for many. Please be kind because there are some who don’t want to share their problems and/or don’t want to let people know what they’re going through because of embarrassment or judgment.
BE KIND ALWAYS!! 🦃🎄💕😊
A Relaxed Mind is a Clear Mind
As a therapist I’m always encouraging my clients to take time and relax.  I believe we have evolved into an anxious society because we are furiously working, caregiving, trying to make ends meet and thinking that there’s not enough time in the day to do the things we want to do.
I often hear, “if I am relaxed and doing nothing I feel unproductive”. Actually we need to take time to be still and soak in all that is around us so that we CAN be productive.
When I worked in the hospital setting I always worked weekends so perhaps Sunday is a day that you have to work or you are currently facing challenges that are not allowing for relaxation. Allow yourself to take a few minutes in this day to close your eyes and be still and allow the mind and the body to relax. A relaxed mind is a clear mind.
What are some of the ways you relax, and if you haven’t made time to do so, what is one thing you could do to add relaxation to your daily or weekly schedule?
Every day is a new day to start again. 💕😊
Be Curious.
AaronRodgers could not have said it better regarding his isolation retreat:
“Be curious. Not judgmental. We are all on our own path, and doing things like this helps me find a greater sense of peace and love for life.”
How many can actually say their journey is peaceful? How many are actually working to make their journey better?
When we are judgmental this usually indicates we don’t understand something or we are not able to see the situation from someone else’s perspective other than our own. Being judgmental is a barrier to learning.
Curious minds lead to wise minds. 💕😊
Motivation Monday – Anger Management
Anger is an emotion. We have all been angry at one time or another. It IS okay to be angry. It is NOT ok to STAY angry nor is it healthy.
What we do with our anger is most important. We must look for ways to channel it through healthy, productive ways. No one said it was easy but it’s definitely doable.
With the awareness that we are angry and patience that the anger will subside and the willingness to approach what occurred with a calm demeanor, we will be in a much better position to resolve the issue.
Think about a car that is overheating.
You DON’t open the lid immediately or more steam will come out and you will burn yourself.
You DO wait untill the car is cooled off and then you go back and check for leaks or add fluid solving the problem in a much safer environment.
It’s really no different when it comes to anger.
It’s best to NOT react immediately or it can cause more anger and a hostile environment. There should be time to calm down and let the anger pass before addressing the problem that contributed to the anger to begin with. You will be in a better frame of mind, a safer environment and able to make decisions and resolve the issue.
Next time anger shows up and it lingers….. ask yourself “is this benefiting me or harming me“? Cool off. Let the anger pass or find productive outlets to channel the anger.
Life is too short to stay angry. Why do it if you don’t have to? 🤷🏼♀️
mh 2022
2022 – My Hope for All
Another year has arrived. The last two have been quite unforgettable. 2022 is sure to not disappoint!
I have no resolutions for the New Year as I have in the past but I have much resolve. I am determined to continue to focus on what is important to me and the goals I have set for myself. I will praise my effort along the way. I will NOT beat myself down. As long as I am trying, I cannot fail.
My hope for All this New Year:
1. Get a physical and do so annually. Lab work tells so much about what is going on in the body. Know yours and know your health baseline. Mind and body are connected.
2. Sleep well and feel rested. Clarity is so very important and is clouded by sleep deprivation. We need good sleep in order to function, to think clearly and make good decisions. There have been times when my plate was so full I had to schedule my sleep. Sleep should be a priority.
3. View challenging situations through a different lens. In the absence of a new perspective, options are not always visible. There are ALWAYS options/choices. Some may not be ideal but they do exist and must be recognized.
4. Reduce bad stress and make lifestyle changes where necessary. Not easy sometimes but doable. Body and mind will thank you.
5. Lean into change with an open mind. Nothing has to be permanent.
6. Learn the art of not responding/reacting to every situation. No response can actually be a reaction. Ask yourself, “will my response/reaction be of benefit or harm to me?” Not responding is a healthier way of reacting to situations. Try it!
7. Practice self compassion. Be kinder to yourself. Be patient with yourself and others. Everyone is struggling with something.
8. Trust the gut. It rarely disappoints.
9. Limit social media. Less Facebook. More FaceTime with family and friends.
10. Seek professional help sooner rather than later. We only know what we know. We don’t have all of the answers ourselves and neither does Google. Seeking help is OK.
Life happens. Embrace it all knowing you are not alone in this vast universe.
If Today is not a good day…..Tomorrow IS a New day!
~mh 💕😊
We Need A Little Christmas – 2021
Christmas tradition in our family included going to church on Christmas Eve to the candlelight service. We would then gather at my aunts house which was down the same street from my home where she had prepared a program of activities. She played piano. We would sing Christmas carols, have dinner and were allowed to open one present. I loved Christmas.
I would wake up on Christmas Day and run to the living room to find Santa had eaten the cookies and drank the milk. There were always toys, dolls, bicycles, clothes and everything on my list. I can’t think of a time I asked Santa for something that he did not deliver. I look back at my early years and feel fortunate. Very fortunate.
My aunt still lives in the same house on the street where I spent the first 11 years of life. She is now 85. We moved when I was 12 and traditions at my aunts house would be gone forever. We moved again when I was 13 and shortly after that my parents’ marriage dissolved. That would be the end of many more traditions and the beginning of new ones.
Christmas feels different now. I don’t go to church on Christmas Eve. Singing Christmas Carols has always brought tears. Tears of the memories of what was and tears of what could have been and I am sure it has something to do with the estrangement from my father and the years spent in church singing such Melodies. I remember such a happy childhood. There is a void that can never be filled.
My favorite carol is We Need a Little Christmas. I can remember singing it with my aunt at her house for the first time.
The lyrics are poignant this year.
“For I’ve grown a little leaner, grown a little colder
Grown a little sadder, grown a little older
And I need a little angel sitting on my shoulder
Need a little Christmas now.
For we need a little music, need a little laughter
Need a little singing
Ringing through the rafter
And we need a little snappy, happy ever after
We need a little Christmas now.”
I really start getting into the holiday spirit around my birthday which is the middle of December. This year I was a week into recovery from a three week severe Covid illness on my year around the sun. Thought I was getting better after the first week and then the cough came back with a vengeance and I was down another two. I am still not 100% healthy. Lingering cough they say will continue for awhile. It is actually almost resolved I do believe. Not my speedy self as Covid took me down and I had very little energy for two and half weeks and it will take some time to get back into full swing again. Now having heart palpitations which they say are post Covid symptoms so I’ll be heading to the cardiologist soon. Not thrilled about this. Covid is a beast!
Don’t get me wrong. Fortunate to be a survivor of Covid. I do count my blessings but I’m not going to let Covid take me out completely.
This year at Christmas I will be thinking of those recovering and those we lost from the pandemic and the lost lives and property from tornadoes. So much destruction, pain, trauma and sadness.
I will be thinking of the lives of those taken by drunk drivers. A drunk driver ran a red light and killed an off duty police officer and injured his wife and children. Happens every day. Senseless and so tragic.
I hope Christmas Day is filled with laughter, hugs and spending time with those who matter in your life. Those kinds of days seem few and far between.
‘We need a little Christmas!”
Merry Christmas to all! 🎁🎄🇨🇽
~Mh
Hope is NOT a plan.
Saying to someone who may be suicidal, depressed, anxious or suffering any mental health concern, “I hope they get the help they need“ without any action to actually help them is no different then saying the exact same thing to someone who becomes critically injured physically who can’t help themselves and requires medical attention.
When we know someone is struggling mentally there are many things that we can do to help them or we can walk away and ‘hope’ they get the help they need. The choice is there to be made but I assure you that hope is NOT a plan. 
If someone is struggling, provide the details and I will help navigate the options of helping them. If we do nothing, that choice could be deadly. 
If someone IS in treatment, don’t assume they’re in the best treatment.
~mh 💕
Just get there!
I Care. Let’s Talk. 