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Monday Motivation – Make Peace with the Past

Our relationship to the past is correlated to the paths we take in the present and affects decisions made for the future.

“Make peace with the past”, “come to terms” and “resolve the past” are all good ideas and easier said than done. What do these even mean?

We can’t alter the past. We can’t erase the past unless somehow we develop amnesia. Hmmm…. This is probably not a good plan. This would erase the bad AND the good. We truly need both in order to achieve balance in our life. You’re probably thinking “what”? If everything was all bad we would never know joy. If everything was always good we would never know pain. We need to appreciate both because both have a purpose in our emotional growth. Am I saying that we need to be abused and traumatized in order to feel joy. Absolutely not!

We must NOT let trauma and abuse become so powerful that we lose sight of who we truly are and truly can be.

If we allow the monster of trauma and abuse to win, we lose the chance of finding happiness.

If we remain stuck focusing on all the bad that has happened to us, where is the openness to experience joy?

We must open that door, as much as we don’t want to, and allow joy to enter.

How do we open this ‘door’?

We change the way we think about the past and create a new relationship to all of the things that have happened to us including those events that are continuing to hurt us in the present which will most assuredly impact our future.

Our brain will adapt to this new way of thinking and as time goes by we will create new neural pathways in the brain healing the wounds of the past.

I can tell you that of all of the challenges, trauma and negativity that has occurred in my life I would not be the person I am today without those experiences.

I think about all of the people that I’ve met and never would have met had it not been for some really troubled times. When I needed someone to listen, I found amazing people who listened.

I have learned to not blame myself for things that happened in the past because we only know what we know in each moment and each moment thereafter a wiser man is born.

Everything that happens to us negatively is not necessarily under our control. Life happens. It is not always pleasant.

Do I wish I had made better decisions? Yes! We can always wish a lot of things in retrospect. Remember the old saying? “Hindsight is 2020.” What we need to tell ourselves is not only do we wish we had made better decisions but from this day forward we WILL make better decisions!

We must create change with our thinking patterns in order to make change with our behavior patterns. It is doable and most importantly it is a must!! There is a better world out there once we open the mind and seek change.

When we engage in change…..change occurs.

Engage. Don’t wait. Start TODAY!

~MH 💕😊

Seniors 2020 – Don’t Despair

Seniors 2020 ….. don’t let the challenges of the year keep you from accomplishing your dreams!

I will honestly say that I did not attend my high school graduation. I did not go to my undergrad graduation either. My masters was important and I did attend that ceremony. I am still setting and reaching goals and that is far more important to me than anything else that has occurred or hasn’t occurred in my life.

We can sit and ponder what could’ve been or we can stand tall and reach towards our potential.

Life rarely turns out the way we planned but that should not keep us from the journey ahead.

💕😊
~MH

Perspective

I don’t want anyone to miss the message of this post. I am 100% compassionate and tearful when seeing anyone lose their life due to the corona virus or any virus. It’s nice to see those who are recovering back to full health.

I would like people to put this crisis into perspective.

Those who succumb to this virus suffer for days or weeks prior to their death. It is horrible. I would not wish it upon anyone.

The government is now spending millions of dollars in research to find a cure/treatment and vaccine. We are applauding people surviving and recovering from this illness. People are willingly coming out and saying they are positive and that they are suffering and they’re talking about their symptoms openly. They don’t want anyone else to suffer as they did. Videos are being created to show the world a timeline of someone’s illness. Social media is consumed.

Why can’t we do the same with depression, anxiety and those who die by suicide?

My wish is that we could spend as much time, as we have been lately immersed in listening and talking about the coronavirus, in talking and speaking about what leads up to suicide because I can tell you it’s way more suffering then just days and weeks. It’s months and years and most often a lifetime.

I am in no way comparing the two as apples to apples. I realize the differences. I want people to see how we’re responding to this illness and ask the question: why can’t we respond the same way to other illnesses with regard to the brain?….because we truly don’t. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Most people know that my passion lies in the area of mental wellness.

Let’s come out of this current crisis with a new perspective on how important mental wellness is to physical wellness and vice versa.

We talk openly about our physical symptoms daily. Let’s begin talking about mental symptoms and keep the conversation going.

~MH 💕😊

Monday Motivation -CoronaVirus – Stay At Home

I’ve got to say this for sure. When we come out of this cloud so to speak and get back to a new “normal“ we should see a lot of the following from those who have been off from work, working from home or taking vacation during this time:

*Decluttered and immaculately organized garages. 🧹

*Houses that have been spotlessly clean and disinfected. 🧽

*Chefs in the making from more cooking and less eating out. 🧑🏼‍🍳

*Competition for the best landscape in the neighborhood. 🌳🌹🌺🌼🌻🏆

*Strong, fit and healthy from all of the garage workouts I’ve seen. 💪🏻🏋🏽🧘🏼‍♀️

* And last but not least, mummies WILL be the most popular Halloween costume for 2020!! 🤣😂 🧻🧻🧻

Hope everyone is safe and most importantly I hope we learn during this time that it is totally OK to reach out for help. 💕😊

~MH

Everything happens for a reason…..or does it?

“Everything happens for a reason.” Who coined this phrase? I have not done the research on this one. I used to say this to myself whenever good and bad things came my way in order to help me cope.

Someone is in such extreme internal pain that they end their life by suicide. People are being diagnosed daily with a terminal illness. Children and animals are abused over and over. A female clerk was murdered while she worked at a convenient store and her kids have been left motherless. I could go on and on. We are going to tell these families and individuals that these events “happened for a reason“?

I can no longer agree with this sentiment. I do believe positive things can come from negative experiences but I do not believe that validates everything happening for a reason.

What do you think?

Monday Motivation – Quarantined = Start New Habits

Every day I go to work I pray I do not get this virus. I know the severity of it if I do. Symptoms can come on quite quickly. I do not leave the social work office unless consulted to see a patient, go to the restroom or to the cafe to get food and bring back to the office. I see mostly psychiatric patients and others but not those being tested for COVID-19.

Yes, the world continues even though the virus is the topic of conversation. People are still suffering depression, anxiety, suicidal thinking, domestic violence, loss of work, financial hardship, etc.

While our current status of “stay at home“ is certainly temporary it can feel like it’s going to last forever. Anytime we are in any crisis we feel like it’s going to last forever.

We are told to self monitor for any symptoms. Of course if you know me I’m always self monitoring for any symptoms of any kind. Perhaps that’s because I work in healthcare and understand fully disease processes and how they manifest along with potential negative outcomes. I am now hyper focused and trying not to anticipate any symptoms. I’m not even on the frontline of all the healthcare workers. However, one doesn’t have to be on the frontline to be exposed. We are all at risk.

I am using hand sanitizer every chance I get. I’m washing my hands throughout the day. I am even sanitizing the doorhandles to the office.

I am off this week and I’m going to practice self-care, catch up on sleep and begin new habits.

I will think about my coworkers, the nurses and the physicians who are in close contact with very sick people although they do have the capability to use telemedicine but if they have to do any kind of procedure they have to be in the room with the person. This has to be scary.

I’m going to think about those who have had to be intubated and are in ICU praying that they recover.

We hear so much about the large numbers of people who are recovering. We can’t lose sight of even one person who has succumbed to this vile invasion to the body not to mention the thousands across the globe.

One day they were traveling or just minding their own business living life and in the blink of an eye they’re now fighting for their life. Hard to even comprehend.

We take so many things for granted. We do it without even thinking about it. It’s natural. I will never again take toilet paper for granted. I am missing ‘my’ Northern terribly. Those who work for toilet paper manufacturers are some of the luckiest people right now. I jest but who would’ve ever thought that toilet paper would be in such high demand? A sign of the times for sure.

Seriously, we literally have to be mindful of things we are grateful for. It’s only through hardship or catastrophe that we really think about gratitude and how precious life really is. We need to remind ourselves that we are only on this earth for a short period of time. It seems like the only time we really think about that is when we know we only have so much time.

I’m going to begin new habits this week that I’m hoping will continue for many years to come. Fully engaging in exercise is one of them. I’ll exercise here and there but I want to consistently be exercising. I’m not getting any younger and the more I exercise now the more mobile I will be in my older years.

I’m going to finish at least one book that I have started. There are many others that I need to begin.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about getting my affairs in order. If I were to become seriously ill or die today my adult kids would not know the first thing to do or how to get to my finances or where to look for important papers. I truly believe they think I will live forever. If only…….

Being single and independent I do everything myself. It’s time to now get things organized and engage my adult children in what they should do in case something were to happen to me. I sat down with them several years ago and discussed my living will but they were in their early 20s and they didn’t really want to talk about death and dying but it is inevitable.

During this time of uncertainty for many, step back, get some sleep, look at the bigger picture. Don’t try to solve all problems in one day. Reach out to friends, family, coworkers and ask for help if need be. We all need each other.

Reassess relationships. Reassess careers. Take this time to start new habits; whatever that may be for your situation. Get rid of old habits that no longer meet your needs or no longer serve a beneficial purpose.

Engage in change and change will occur.

Be safe and be well knowing every day is a new day!

~MH 💕😊

Monday Motivation – Resilience and Change

I keeping reading where people want to “get this over with and go back to their real life”. I hate to break it to you but this is real life…in this moment. This is REALITY.

Embrace it. Step back and relax and enjoy the time away from all the hustle and bustle because when we finally get back to that other ‘real life’ all we’re going to hear is nothing but complaining about how “I can’t wait for the weekend”. “ I work too many hours.” ” I need a vacation.” “I don’t have time to work out.” “I don’t have time for this and that.” “I need sleep.”

Resilience! Start new routines. Start new habits. It is spring. Get a jump on spring cleaning in the house and in the mind. This is the perfect time for that. Sleep a little later than normal. Sleep is so very important, ESPECIALLY for the immune system.

We often get too complacent in our life with our routines and then when there’s a sudden change we freak out for lack of a better term.

Remember, there are people in the hospital with the corona virus and those with other chronic illnesses as well. Some who are on hospice at end of life and not allowed to have visitors or very few. That must be extremely difficult for them and their family. Some will most likely die alone and this is the tragedy of all of this.

Find the ‘silver lining’ through all of this because I promise you it is there!

If you find yourself weary and lost please reach out. Someone cares.

#Resilience #Change #SilverLining #Coronavirus

Every Job Matters ….Including YOURS!!

The other day on the news someone was talking about the people who were going to lose hours and pay at their job because of the virus crisis we are facing and they mentioned people who “flip burgers“. This has been bothering me because people who perform this task DO A LOT MORE than just ‘flip burgers’! It was extremely degrading.

People who work at ANY job are no better than people who work at any other job no matter what the title or the task of the job. We need every one in this country to do the work that they do.

EVERY JOB MATTERS!!!

Thank you for listening. 💕😊

#everyjobmatters

Don’t Panic Amidst the Current Global Health Issue

As always, life can change in an instant. I hope throughout all of this we can now understand that we are all connected across the world in many ways through sickness and in health.

On March 14, 2020 a Utah Jazz NBA basketball player tested positive for the new virus called COVID-19. I was watching the Dallas Mavericks play the Denver Nuggets on TV at home when all of this was ‘playing’ out and all of a sudden the NBA got word that ALL games would be suspended beyond the end of the games being played that night. Some games were even canceled before they began. This would be the scary, surreal beginning of the cancellations/closures of multiple events and venues across the US.

People have now started to panic going to the grocery stores and buying everything in sight. Toilet paper has now become a commodity along with bread, water, hand sanitizer, cleaners and other essential food items. Mass hysteria has consumed us in the blink of an eye.

When in panic mode nothing results except more panic.

When people are worried I believe the best way to manage this worry is to get clarification about what they’re worried about. When we worry we have questions and if we can get some answers to these questions this will limit our worry. We’re not always going to get all of the answers to the questions but we need to focus on solutions instead of more worry.

Some people start to worry and don’t even know what they’re really worried about. The first thing to do is step back and ask “what is the worry?” Hence, there’s at least one question that needs clarification. More questions will follow. More clarification to be obtained. Stay calm. Seek answers.

As far as this new global health scare, it is important to know the facts and that information being read/heard comes from a reputable source. All forms of media gather their information from other sources so the media is not the original source of the information.

Information/numbers about confirmed cases are going to come from those who have actually been tested. From what I understand there are not enough tests yet therefore people who meet certain criteria are the ones being tested for the virus. In our healthcare system we already have the ability to test for other known viruses and illnesses to which these individuals will be tested to rule them out first. Please consult your city, county or state health department for details of criteria needed to be tested.

A 17-year-old has developed a website to track this virus. https://ncov2019.live/data

Please look to the Centers for Disease Control for information as well.

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html

There’s also the World Health Organization.

https://www.who.int/

Don’t panic. Stay calm. Stay away from large crowds. Cover coughs and sneezes. One would be surprised at how far the droplets spread.

Seek medical attention when not feeling well, especially with shortness of breath, or any time health is a worry. This will provide clarification as to health status and help decrease worry.

At the very least: Wash your hands and then wash them some more.

#COVID-19#Don’tPanic#StayCalm

~MH 💕😊

**Nothing in this blog post is intended for medical advice. Please seek advice from medical providers regarding any questions surrounding individual health status.