Our relationship to the past is correlated to the paths we take in the present and affects decisions made for the future.
“Make peace with the past”, “come to terms” and “resolve the past” are all good ideas and easier said than done. What do these even mean?
We can’t alter the past. We can’t erase the past unless somehow we develop amnesia. Hmmm…. This is probably not a good plan. This would erase the bad AND the good. We truly need both in order to achieve balance in our life. You’re probably thinking “what”? If everything was all bad we would never know joy. If everything was always good we would never know pain. We need to appreciate both because both have a purpose in our emotional growth. Am I saying that we need to be abused and traumatized in order to feel joy. Absolutely not!
We must NOT let trauma and abuse become so powerful that we lose sight of who we truly are and truly can be.
If we allow the monster of trauma and abuse to win, we lose the chance of finding happiness.
If we remain stuck focusing on all the bad that has happened to us, where is the openness to experience joy?
We must open that door, as much as we don’t want to, and allow joy to enter.
How do we open this ‘door’?
We change the way we think about the past and create a new relationship to all of the things that have happened to us including those events that are continuing to hurt us in the present which will most assuredly impact our future.
Our brain will adapt to this new way of thinking and as time goes by we will create new neural pathways in the brain healing the wounds of the past.
I can tell you that of all of the challenges, trauma and negativity that has occurred in my life I would not be the person I am today without those experiences.
I think about all of the people that I’ve met and never would have met had it not been for some really troubled times. When I needed someone to listen, I found amazing people who listened.
I have learned to not blame myself for things that happened in the past because we only know what we know in each moment and each moment thereafter a wiser man is born.
Everything that happens to us negatively is not necessarily under our control. Life happens. It is not always pleasant.
Do I wish I had made better decisions? Yes! We can always wish a lot of things in retrospect. Remember the old saying? “Hindsight is 2020.” What we need to tell ourselves is not only do we wish we had made better decisions but from this day forward we WILL make better decisions!
We must create change with our thinking patterns in order to make change with our behavior patterns. It is doable and most importantly it is a must!! There is a better world out there once we open the mind and seek change.
When we engage in change…..change occurs.
Engage. Don’t wait. Start TODAY!
~MH 💕😊
I Care. Let’s Talk. 