Alone for the Holidays.

My eldest son and his girlfriend came by last night and helped put the lights on the tree. I always like to have a tree up for Thanksgiving. It helps me get into the spirit of the holidays.


Each year that passes I see my kids finding their way in life, growing into the adults I prepared them to be. I am so very proud of them. What I wasn’t prepared for was being alone. I always thought I would remarry after my divorce. That day has yet to come. Not sure it ever will.


Each Thanksgiving I wake up, put the turkey in the oven and watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade. My kids come over about 12:30 for lunch and possibly stay long enough to watch football then they are off continuing their own journey. I give thanks for their health and cherish time spent with them knowing each year that passes is one more year closer to the end of mine. They will say goodbye with a loving hug and I will sit and reflect on how it used to be when they were younger. Time has flown by……too quickly.


Being alone has it’s pros and cons. I focus on the pros as much as possible.

I control the remote!


I do what I want when I want.


I control the money…my money. 🙂


All kidding aside. Being alone does not have to be all bad. It’s all in how one thinks. My life did not turn out as I planned. It is what it is. I move forward with less planning and more doing.


I love to travel.


I like capturing moments in pictures.


I like listening to music, especially the music I grew up with. I am more focused on the lyrics now than I was then.


I am a MFFL and for those of you who don’t know what that is……Mavs Fan for Life! Go Mavs! 🙂 If there were no basketball, life would be so boring. Lol!


I started walking again. Fitness is important. Find the motivation to get moving.


Being alone has always provided me the opportunity to get to know myself. I have even learned to love myself! That is something most people are lacking and is the root to some of their troubles.


Holidays come and go. They are not here forever. It is a stressful time of year for many, especially those who spend time alone. I at least have my kids for a visit. For that I am grateful.


Stay off social media as that can be a source of added stress during this time. I have learned to roll past what I see and hear on social media and not let it affect me because I know people pretend they are happy when in fact they are not.


Make this Thanksgiving Day a day that you are thankful for YOU and all that you are and let everything else fall into place as it should….and will. 💕😊

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

~MH

Readers Beware

Please be aware that there are bloggers who put content other than their own on their blog and do not give the original composer credit. Some are even selling items with quotes and have attached their own logo. This will catch up to them eventually.

It’s very easy to google the quote or a phrase in their post and find the original composer.

Please report this if you know it is happening.

Please help keep the integrity of blogging.

Monday Motivation – Open on Thanksgiving

Seven to eight years ago I remember being unemployed. I had never had trouble getting a job and I would have taken any job but could not get hired for even $10 per hour because I was ‘over qualified’.

I would see/hear people complaining about working on holidays. During that not so wonderful time in my life I silently thought “I wish I could work for these people who do not want to work”.

Retail stores are now opening on Thanksgiving and people are complaining again that they have to work. Even people who are no longer working are complaining about others who have to work.

What is all the fuss? I get it but I would like to provide a different perspective.

We always want our lives to be better, easier, more convenient. We do not take the time to realize it could be so much worse. 

Holidays are a time to spend with loved ones but I can tell you that if a job was lost, a career ended or one was ill and could not work then holidays would not be pleasant.

Working in a hospital I see so much sickness; people who can’t work, lose limbs, go on disability, go home on hospice, receive cancer diagnosis with poor prognosis and the list goes on and on. Many do recover to go home and continue living. I have the most compassion for those who don’t.

Throughout my journey I have met many people who literally have no family. I continue to meet them. They are walking through life alone. That must be tougher than working on any holiday.

It is now the time of year we give thanks to all we have including the people in our lives. If we have a job and are able to provide for our basic needs we should start there and be thankful.

If we are lacking work perhaps we could be thankful for our health, our children, family, pets and our friends. Family can be anyone and everyone we want it to be. Let this time of year be the time to define family.

If life finds us weary, sit for a bit and do nothing. Reflect/regroup on where it is we want to be/go on this journey and start anew. Be thankful for the ability to start anew.

When I was younger I worked retail for over a decade and I worked many holidays. I probably complained a time or two as well. We were closed on Thanksgiving but opened early the day after. I always worked that day.

If people do not like the environment where they work they need to look elsewhere. Reinvent themselves.

As I began a family raising small children working every holiday and working late nights in retail no longer served my purpose and that’s when I made a change. I made a lot of sacrifices and that’s what a lot of people don’t want to do with regard to change. We all have options yet for some reason we always feel like we don’t. We would rather complain about what we don’t like rather than work towards finding happiness with what we do like. I chose the latter. Finding myself unemployed years back I made a change again and went back to school to get a masters degree in the direction of hopefully never being without a job. Only this time I found my purpose, my passion in helping others. My journey continues.

Hotels, hospitals, police/fire departments, airlines, restaurants, gas stations are all open on holidays.

Let these retail places be open on Thanksgiving. The one thing we shoppers CAN control is going shopping or NOT going shopping on Thanksgiving day. If no one shows up to buy anything perhaps they will rethink being open next year.

Society has created these holidays. We should not wait until one specific day rolls around each year to be thankful and spend time with our family. We should do this EVERY day!

Most importantly……be thankful another Thanksgiving Day has arrived.

~MH

A Day of Remembrance

November 23 was International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day.

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.

Know the signs….listen with your ears and your eyes.

Speak up for those who can’t.

Be an advocate.

Show compassion.

Have empathy.

Be patient.

Don’t shrug it off as ‘this too shall pass’……because it won’t…..at least not as quick as for some.

Someone says they are “fine”……ask them to describe ‘fine’.

Your friend or loved one needs you and most likely will not ask for help.

Start the conversation.

Ask them if they are safe.

Get to them and lay eyes on them ASAP.

Meet them where they are mentally.

Don’t let them sit alone. If they are in crisis, seek professional help immediately. Call 911 if needed.

Even if you don’t believe them. BELIEVE them anyway!!

It can and will be challenging.

Better days ARE ahead!

Show up!!!! Don’t take no for an answer. They are truly reaching out but don’t think anyone is going to listen nor understand.

Thoughts of suicide don’t always lead to an attempt but thoughts can certainly lead to action quickly. Take them seriously!

If you show up for them NOW, there’s a very good chance that you will never have to show up for Survivor of Suicide Loss Day.

Rest in Peace Nita, Kurt, Brett and many others I have known on my journey who have made a difference in my life but were in such pain they took their own.

Bless all who have laid to rest a loved one as a result of suicide. May these souls never be forgotten, always thought of as brave, no longer suffering and now at peace.

I am here for you! 💕

~MH

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.1-800-273-8255

Social Media does NOT Equal Social Connections

We are living in a time period where social media consumes our daily lives. One can have 1400+ ‘friends’ on their social media and not one of them they consider enough support to call upon in an hour of need.

Please go through your friends’ list of all social media and make notes of the ones who you can definitely call if needed and will actually be there, listen and support you. You may be surprised. My hope is there is at least one person. One is better than none.

If there is not even one, please get back into the ‘real’ world to find that person. Human connections need to be real.

We’re connected…..yet we’re SO not connected.

Get Connected!

I Care! Let’s Talk! 💕😊

No Blame. No Shame.

“Suicide, mental illness and addiction are the only illnesses we blame the person for perpetually.” Kevin Hines

These are all illnesses of the brain. The brain is an organ just like any other organ in the body. It breaks down. It gets sick. It needs tending to and we must take care of it just like we do our other organs.

Embrace these illnesses…..change thinking patterns…..learn new ways to cope with distress, challenges and adversity.

We only know what we know……most often it is not enough. There is so much more! 💞😊

~MH

National Suicide Hotline

1-800-273-8255

Monday Motivation

We live our lives reacting to each and every event that happens to us.

In 2016 I was faced with what I consider a life altering event. I could have reacted so many different ways. I decided not to react at all. One of the best decisions I ever made!

Sometimes no reaction is more productive and healthy then any and all reactions to a given event.

Remember that the next time you get the impulse to react…you don’t have to!

You can simply do nothing and walk away.

Try it! I guarantee you will discover a new you! It is a skill needed in everyone’s ‘toolbox’. 😊

~MH

Yesteryear

I assisted an elderly person with a moving sale. There were many albums…vinyl is their new name. There was a box of conversational Spanish records. A young girl about the age of 10-12 asked if they were for learning to speak Spanish. I told her yes, but she would need a turntable to play them on. She then asked, “what is a turntable?”. I grabbed my walker, smiled, and told her that’s what we had when I was a little girl. Seems like yesterday to me! 😩 😂

Enjoy today for tomorrow will be here all too soon.

~MH

Monday Motivation – Keep Moving Forward

I came home and got out of my car and there was this big bug on the back door and I realized it was a grasshopper. I got a broom and swatted him off of the door so I could get into the house. I didn’t want to kill him but did not want him to jump into my face. He hopped all around the garage.

I came home the next day and needed to go back-and-forth to storage as I had recently moved so I got in my car and on my windshield was that same grasshopper! I first thought he was inside the car and then I finally could see that he was on the outside. Of course! I realized if he was inside the car he would’ve had to have been clinging to the windshield from his backside which I don’t think he was capable of doing. Lol! He traveled with me all the way to the QT and beyond.

I got to thinking….. grasshoppers must have some sort of meaning.
I recalled the last time I encountered one was when I was working as a nursing home administrator out in the country back in 2011. There wasn’t just one…..there were hundreds of grasshoppers in the grass by my car! I had never seen so many! I guess one wanted to get to know me better. He hopped on my windshield and traveled with me all the way home which was about an hour drive and he clung to the windshield the entire time. I was amazed and impressed!


My second encounter with this very unique creature sparked the curiosity in me and I looked up the meaning of a grasshopper. This is what I found…..


“When the grasshopper appears to us we are being asked to take a leap of faith and jump forward into a specific area of life without fear. Usually that specific area is one that we have avoided and is often connected to change on a larger scale. This can represent a change in location, relationships, career or just in the way we perceive ourselves.
Grasshoppers can only jump forward….not backward, or sideways. So, when grasshopper shows up they could be reaffirming to you that you are taking the right steps to move forward in your current situation. Or it could be that they are telling you to go ahead and move forward, getting past what is hindering you. This is why grasshopper is the symbol of good luck all over the world. Grasshopper’s ability to connect and understand sound vibrations is why he is also a symbol of your inner voice. he could be telling you to trust yours.”


2011 was a rough patch in my life or one of the many, I must say, but I overcame it with success and ended up going to grad school and finding my passion in mental illness as a therapist. I was somewhat stuck at the time trying to make a decision on my future. I am again at a crossroads and the grasshopper has given me a new look on life.


Many of you are going to say ‘oh it’s just a grasshopper and she’s putting too much into this’.


I truly believe that life has meaning and I’m a believer in finding meaning in every situation, good or bad that comes our way. Without meaning it would have no impact on us whatsoever.


Stop and think about it.


Believing in something…..anything…. is what gets us through each day on this earth.


Don’t ever stop believing……for when you do life comes to a halt and it’s going to do that soon enough on its own.


I hope you stumble across your grasshopper!


Be well and have a great week!!! 💞
~MH