Monday Motivation – Grief

I attended the mass of a friend this past Friday. It was an unanticipated death and she was only 69. She always had a smile on her face and she truly lived life to the fullest. I followed her travels through Facebook. She would travel to Florida to Disney World with her kids and grandkids and was often going to the beach. She traveled the world. Her granddaughter lost a grandmother too soon.

Grief is very personal and a lifelong process. We never ‘get over’ someone’s death. NEVER. We learn to live life with a new direction and a new or added purpose.

Do what feels right for you and you alone. When you are feeling better create something in the persons memory. Maybe a scrapbook of things they liked. Honor them in some way and let people know the person they were and do the things that you know they would’ve liked to do. Writing them a letter can be helpful as well. Pour your feelings onto paper rather than keeping them stuffed inside. Breathe.

A dear friend passed away years ago. An elderly Irishman. He was always providing me sound advice like a father and I enjoyed talking with him. We met by happenstance. We would sit and have cookies and tea and laugh. I think perhaps I made him laugh more. Now I try to make people laugh on purpose! 😊

In the beginning after he passed, I talked to him probably daily. I know he was listening for my tears would dry up by the end of our ‘conversation’ and I would feel better. He was a dear sweet man. I know for sure I’m a better person for knowing him even if it was only for a short time. I believe 100% that we cross paths with people for a reason.

I feel sure he is continuing to be one of my guardian angels. I know I have more than one. 

Every day is a new day.

Take your time and take care of yourself. Your loved one would want it no other way.

~MH 💕😊

Addiction – To Use or Not to Use

Addiction is a monster.

We cannot discount the genetic component, however, environment plays a major role.

I believe the bigger picture is asking what is the driving force to using any of these substances/medications. If it is unhealthy coping skills there are other ways to manage stress, anxiety and even pain. We are always searching for the ‘quick fix’ and there is no such animal….at least not ones providing long term benefits.

There is such great bias regarding those with substance use/abuse and this needs to change.

Everyone is different and searching for what works. We put into our body substances without any thought as to what they are doing and then we get hooked often by no fault of our own. I blame in part the pharmaceutical industry for even creating such addictive medications. Shame on them.

Risk and benefits should always be taken into consideration with benefits outweighing the risks.

As with illicit substances, we need to work on the skill/ability to not using the first time. This is easier said than done but doable.

I have seen 20 year olds lose their lives after using heroin and/or cocaine. Heart wrenching.

Find your way to better days. It IS possible. NEVER give up!

You Matter!

I Care. Let’s Talk. 💕😊

Monday Motivation – Friendship

It’s much easier and less effort to ‘delete’ a friend than it is to try and understand and empathize with them on any situation. Aside from loyalty issues, infidelity, physical harm or emotional harm a reason someone would not want to be friends with another person could be due to their own inability to be tolerant of another’s perspective or perhaps they themselves have an inner conflict which they need to tend to. We all have them and should always be working to better understand ourselves.

When someone does not respond to a text or phone call or even initiate communication we automatically assume that something is wrong with us and that leads to a downward spiral of distorted thinking.

We should all be more kind to one another and practice self compassion when life challenges occur. We should also try to see the world from someone else’s perspective which may give light to our own.😊


I think it’s more that people are so caught up in their own lives that they forget how important human connection is and they just assume that everyone is doing OK and don’t take the time to reach out and communicate except behind the face of social media. I’ve always been one that at least acknowledges any form of communication sent to me. Some people just don’t do that which is totally on them.

Never ‘think’ of yourself as insignificant because people are not calling or texting or emailing you or think you don’t cross someone’s mind. Those thoughts are only thoughts and they mean nothing… unless you assign meaning to them. 

Remember…. We cannot control what other people do or say or how they respond to us or if they leave us with no response. We can only control what we put out there and how we respond to others.

I believe … based on the posts that I often see …the majority of people on social media could actually use a ‘real’ friend or two and if someone doesn’t want to be your friend for WHATEVER reason… Let them go!! 💕😊

You Matter to the Hatter!

I Care. Let’s Talk.

2020 has arrived!!!!

2019 was a difficult year for many families as they lost loved ones. It was a time of turmoil for the country. If we can all celebrate on New Year’s Eve in unity then surely we can come together every other day of the year. 2020 has arrived!

May everyone experience good health, find happiness, practice self compassion as well as be compassionate for others. Most of all BELIEVE anything and everything is possible. 💕😊

Monday Motivation – Happy New Year!!

Photo credit: Power of Positivity

Hold Steady!! 2020 is near!

All of the things you didn’t do, couldn’t do, wouldn’t do…..no worries!

January 1 is the beginning of a new day…a new year…a new decade!

It is never too late to begin again.

Start where you are.

Say to yourself “I Matter!” and get busy being the YOU that you want to be!

You and you alone have the power….it is a matter of believing you have it.

Start believing!!

Bye, bye 2019…..Hellllloooo 2020! Nice to see you! Let’s do this! 😉💕

~MH

I Believe in Santa

Christmas tradition in our family included going to church on Christmas Eve to the candlelight service. We would then gather at my aunts house which was down the street from our house where she had prepared an actual program of activities. She played piano. We would sing Christmas carols, have dinner and were allowed to open one present. I loved Christmas.

I would wake up on Christmas Day and run to the living room to find Santa had eaten the cookies and drank the milk. There were always toys, dolls, bicycles, clothes and everything on my list. I can’t think of a time I asked Santa for something that he did not deliver. I look back at my early years and feel fortunate. Very fortunate.

My aunt still lives in the same house on the street where I spent the first 11 years of life. She is 84. We moved when I was 12 and traditions at my aunts house would be gone forever. We moved again when I was 13 and shortly after that my parents’ marriage dissolved. That would be the end of many traditions and the beginning of new ones.

I have continued to enjoy Christmas but for some reason certain Christmas Carols create tears. I have not quite figured that one out yet but I am sure it has something to do with the estrangement from my father and the years spent in church singing such Melodies. There is a void that can never be filled.

I do believe in Santa though and always will. Santa is always jolly and a giving soul and I always enjoy giving rather than receiving. When I was younger my parents would take me to get my picture made with Santa. There’s one picture where I am not happy. I am crying and I don’t know if I was scared or what was going on because I was too little to remember. I can only imagine I must’ve been terrified of the man with the white beard.

I get into the holiday spirit around my birthday which is the middle of December. Shopping for others and wrapping presents is the most fun! As Christmas Day nears, though, I am ready for a new year to begin. The holidays can be exhausting.

Everyone is running around trying to find that last minute gift. It’s Christmas Eve and I realized that I did not have enough scotch tape so about ten after five I went to Walmart and one would have thought the entire city was there. They closed at six. I was lucky to even find a roll of scotch tape but I found a couple and headed to the checkout lanes. I got out of there fairly quickly. As I was leaving the parking lot at twenty minutes until closing, there were still cars pouring into the parking lot. I hope they were successful in their search for the perfect gift. 

Christmas is highly commercialized and has been for as long as I can remember. I think many have lost sight of the true meaning.

I hope Christmas Day is filled with laughter, hugs and spending time with those who matter in your life. Those kinds of days seem few and far between. We need more of them.

Must go to sleep or he won’t pay me a visit. I believe in Santa. Do you?

Merry Christmas!! 💕

~MH

Bucket List

What are your goals? What do you want to do while on this earth?

Don’t wait until “tomorrow” to start creating a ‘bucket list’.

Do it NOW!

Don’t wait until you have enough money.

Don’t wait to retire.

Don’t wait for a sunny day.

Don’t wait until a better mood appears.

Don’t wait until the kids grow up.

Bucket lists do not have to be extravagant. They can be simple.

Maybe you like to fish, go camping, hiking.

Maybe you like to travel.

Maybe you want to take singing lessons, sing karaoke, learn to dance, learn piano, learn to cook, learn a foreign language, sky dive, scuba dive, write a book.

Maybe you work all of the time and want to take a vacation. The list can be endless.

It is YOUR list.

Create the list and then take action! Don’t wait!

Partner/Spouse does not share what’s in your ‘bucket’? No worries. This is YOUR list. Things YOU want to accomplish. Let nothing/anyone stand in your way.

I learned years ago the only way to have no regrets is to live my life for me. I do things I want to do and while it would be nice to share my passions with another I will not let their absence keep me from living life. You shouldn’t either. I have known people who wanted to take adventures but their spouses would not go. They lived in resentment as they say they didn’t get to do things they wanted. I say they should have gone anyway. Two people don’t have to be attached at the hip!

I am currently in Key Largo completing my travels through The Keys of Florida. A nice journey it was and nice to check it off the list! ✅

I have twin boys and one likes to travel and has a more flexible work schedule than the other so he went with me. We don’t always want to do the same things or even eat the same foods but we compromise…..or not! Lol!

Please share something you would add to your bucket list and maybe by this time next year you will have it checked off before life passes by and time runs out…….because it will.

~MH

Monday Motivation – What are you Worth?

Just when you think you aren’t worth a darn thing is the exact time to say to yourself:

“I matter!”

“ I am worth all of the gold in the world!”

“I am a good person!”

“I deserve better!”

“I AM worth it!” 💕

If you need convincing, reach out!

I Care. Let’s Talk!

Make today a good day!

~MH

Monday Motivation – Change it Up!

We made it! December is my favorite month but not because of Christmas. December is my birth month. It is also the last month of the year which means a new year is approaching! I can shed all of the yuck from the past year and start fresh.

I don’t look at this time of the year as turning a year older. I tell my kids every year they’re getting older and I’m getting younger. It is the meaning we attach to age or any event in our life that determines how we feel.

How can you view your situation different today and begin anew? If you’ve been thinking the same way for many years, and we all have, change it up!

We have the ability to change the way we think. We just don’t know how to do it because we never knew we could and we don’t do it every day. Once we start doing it every day it becomes natural and then it becomes automatic.

When faced with a challenging situation we most likely fill our thoughts with all negatives, misfortunes, disadvantages, losses, etc. I assure you there is at least one benefit, possibly more, to the circumstance. It is clouded by all of the limitations and problems we can easily see. Start by listing one positive outcome and more will follow. If impossible is the only word that comes to mind, please reach out and allow someone to assist with discovery of the bigger picture.

Our own perspective is our reality. This, my friends, can also be our worst enemy.

Don’t wait until the new year to make change. Time is ticking. Do it today! A new you IS on the horizon. 💕

~MH