Rules of a Breakup

Holidays are over. Valentine’s Day is over. Spring is near. Relationship breakups happen all throughout the year and sometimes they occur more often after holidays or around holidays because these are stressful times.

Experienced a break up? I certainly have over the years and this is what I discovered. I will share in hopes that it will help others.

Rule #1

DO NOT send continuos messages that go unanswered. This is futile and a waste of energy and time. If you must send a message then I recommend sending the message to another friend who will just listen. Journal your thoughts helps as well. I also recommend writing him/her a letter but don’t actually send it. Often times we are angry and we say things that we might regret later so processing your emotions without letting the other person in on it is more beneficial in the long run and will aid in moving forward.

Rule #2

Make a list of self affirmations and say them aloud to yourself every day. Trust me….this works more than you know. 🙂

Rule #3

Give yourself time to reflect and focus on taking care of yourself. If you can learn to like being by yourself then future relationships will be healthier. Accept and love everything about yourself because you are unique! There is no one else like you and that is the greatness about life. Everyone has something to give to this world.

Rule #4

No self medicating. This includes alcohol, illicit drugs, and prescription drugs. These things cover-up your pain but at some point you have to face the music so why not get it over with …the sooner the better I say.

If you’re suffering from SEVERE anxiety and SEVERE sleep deprivation then please seek medical attention as you can be prescribed medication temporarily until you can get through the rough spots. Or if you prefer, seek a holistic doctor as there are alternatives to traditional medications. Anxiety is rooted in fear and intolerance of uncertainty. Understanding what creates anxiety is important to avoid those triggers. If we can learn to see the situation differently perhaps we can limit our anxiety. We often create the anxiety due to the way our mind views situations. We always go straight to the negative as if there’s something wrong with us. Whatever has happened…. ‘it is what it is’ and we must move forward even if we’re waiting for the person to come back…..which they may or may not do. If they do come back we may be in a different place and not want them back. 🤷🏼‍♀️

While you’re waiting… Get on with your life. Go for walks. Join a gym. Read some books. Listen to music. Sing Karaoke. Take some classes/continuing education at a college. Play golf. Go bowling. See a play. Go to a concert. Travel. The list is endless. When you continue living you grow as a person and you realize that while you may want this particular person you no longer NEED them. Understanding needs vs wants is very important.

Lavender from Young Living Essential Oils has a calming effect and allows some to get a good nights rest. Everyone is different and not everyone benefits from oils. I have read where Lavender enhances the effects of antidepressants and pain medication so please use caution when using anything if you’re also taking prescription medications.

Rule # 5

Give yourself a break after a break up or any kind of loss, whether it be loss of a job or a death of someone close to you. A breakup IS a loss. Take it day-to-day and you’ll know when you’re feeling better and ready to move forward. Reinvent yourself! It truly is the other person’s loss!! For those of you who work full-time or don’t have a flexible schedule it’s more important for you to take care of yourself and journal throughout the day. If you’re able to take a few days off when something like this happens I encourage it immensely. If it’s a job where you need to concentrate and stay highly focused I recommend taking a few days off initially to process some of the emotions.

Rule # 6

Shift your mindset from thinking that it’s all your fault too it’s all on them. You’re OK …you’re going to be OK and you have to tell yourself that. The more you tell yourself that, the more you’re going to believe it and when you believe it your actions as a result of that belief will change direction.

Is this going to be difficult? Absolutely it’s going to be difficult! You can get through it! YOU are worth it!! If I can do it…. and I have….anybody can do it.


Published by ICare.Let'sTalk.

Hello and Welcome. My name is Melody and I Care. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. This is a place where people can come together and connect sharing their similarities as well as their differences helping one another. You are NOT alone. Everyone has a story. I will share mine along the way. You Matter to the Hatter! I Care. Let's Talk!

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