Has someone stood you up or not been there for you when you thought they should have been? Maybe not answered a text or an email? You asked yourself “why me”? “”Why haven’t they texted back?” What did I do to deserve this?” “ I must be a horrible person.” “ I must be unworthy.” “I am not lovable.”
We don’t always get the answer to the ‘why’. People do things for many reasons and sometimes they themselves don’t even understand why.
So many reasons people don’t show up that can have absolutely nothing to do with us. They may have their own issues with personal stress, anxiety, fear of your response, low self worth, guilt, depression, shame, and/or perhaps they became ill or maybe they aren’t truly who they say they are if you have never met them or talked to them on the phone. Maybe they don’t know what to say. Healthy communication is difficult without the right tools and knowledge.
We always go straight to the negative in these situations as opposed to just saying ‘it is what it is’. Maybe they are busy? Maybe they didn’t get the text or forgot about it thinking they responded? Perhaps it has nothing to do with me. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s their loss.
I certainly hope this doesn’t happen to anyone but my mother had been seeing someone for a few months and they were both in their 70s. He appeared to have ghosted her, so to speak, if that is such a thing at their age. She became upset because he wasn’t responding to numerous emails or phone calls. A few weeks later I decided to do some searching and I found his obituary. I just had a feeling. She felt really awful and sad that she had thought negatively when he actually had a heart attack and died after coming back from a golf weekend with his son. His family did not think to notify her.
It just goes to show us that we don’t really know what’s going on until we do. It serves no purpose to go straight to the negative, think it has everything to do with us personally and/or paint a picture in our head of something when we truly have no idea what has occurred except the person didn’t show up and/or isn’t responding. Those are the only facts we have.
If our past is a trigger to these feelings, we shouldn’t give the past any more power as it affects our ability to focus on the present and plan for the future.
Chin up, know your worth, forward march and keep working on the goals you have and all that you want to accomplish in the world.
It’s OK to not be OK….we just don’t want to be in that headspace for too long. 💕😊 mh
I Care. Let’s Talk. 